Okay God, I get it. I hear you loud and clear. You want me to tithe.

Let me go back a little, I grew up in the Lutheran church, ELCA style. We didn’t clap, we didn’t shout ‘Amen’ at an inspiring part of the sermon and we didn’t tithe. Really, I don’t think I even learned the word until I heard an athlete mention that the first thing he did after signing a multi-million dollar contract was tithe. It was that point that God put the word in my head.

My Lutheran church had Sundays where they talked about time and talents and honoring God but there was nothing specifically said about money, nothing that I remember.

I got the donation envelopes at my first apartment and I was annoyed – I though it pretty presumptuous to send me envelopes in a church I wasn’t happy with. I don’t remember ever giving money to my church. I didn’t feel I had to, I didn’t feel my salary was enough or that I was too young to take that seriously.

In January of 2011 I took Financial Peace – a class to learn how to be better with money and be a steward to your resources. Tithing came up again because Dave Ramsey outlining the biblical references to tithing. The first line on his budget is for charitable giving. Before anything else charitable giving.

And tithing has been in my heart ever since. I talked to my dad – he doesn’t subscribe to the 10% rule but he does give. It came up in sermons that I listened to, radio stations I happened upon. It’s so strange when you feel that all of the those coincidences are just that – chance. As I struggle to pay off some stupid tax and medical debt, it seems so unreasonable to throw 10% out the window. But God continues to chase me. And today I sent my first tithe.

I am not saying that you must tithe 10% to be a good Christian. I am not saying that your time and talents you give aren’t amazing and beneficial and wonderful. It comes down to the fact that I have been beyond blessed and I need to stop focusing 100% on me and my needs and send 10% to someone else. I am saying that the 10% is what feels good to me, right now.

Simple

Sometime I wish I was a simple person.  Someone who isn’t a worrier, who is perfectly content in where they are, right now.

Like this – who is this person!!

(link)

I talked with my life coach(es), yes there were two, about my fear of being lazy. I do think that I am lazy. I am a hardcore relaxer. I can go through an entire season of Netflix shows in a weekend. In my quest to get healthier I bought the fitbit. It’s amazing, except when I only take 2000 steps a day (on a quest to 10,000).

I have come to a point where I question if I am pulled in too many directions. I am NOT the kind of person who is afraid to say no but I am constantly seeking out new things to help me find my way. To help me feel fulfilled. Then I questions myself, aren’t I suppose to look to GOD for that? That brings on all the questions about I am doing enough to be closer to HIM?

These blogs really help me to calm the swirling. Exercise is helping too; my anxiety (self diagnosed) has quieted. I am happier at my soul sucking job. But my to do list is never ending, I always have a running tally of books to read, jobs to apply for, vlogs to edit, blogs to put together and actually post!

So to quiet the fear I answer it. I am enough. I am doing enough. I read, I volunteer, I get up early to work out. I go to work every single day. I need to really reward myself for my successes. Why is it so hard to see your own daily victories?

I have figured out nothing from this post BUT I was leaning toward skipping out a weekend at a friends cabin and I have decided I AM GOING. I am just going to leave my computer at home and read a non-self help book and breathe. I want to love on their new baby and ride on a boat and laugh. Yes, that might be just the solution.

Thanks – this was helpful. I always say that, because it always is.