I remember the night that I was on the verge of tears about
my life. Oh wait, that was
tonight. I’m not suicidal, I am not depressed but I am extremely unhappy. My
job is killing me. I have tried so hard to put on a game face, work harder, and
try different things but there is nothing good there, so I have to go.
There are very few things holding me back from bouncing in
there tomorrow and throwing up two fingers. I said two (deuces) and just
trusting things would work out. Then I think about my medical bills, insurance, 'finding a job is easier when you have a job' and all of those things that keep you at a place that sucks your soul and holds you down. Serious, I think someone should do a study about work abuse, similar to domestic abuse when you don't have resources to leave. (Please give me a break for dramatic effect - I get that it is not the same thing.)
My sister is so tired of me being an askhole.
(defn: Someone who repeatedly asks you for advice, and then never takes it). She
has been encouraging me to quit for weeks.
That’s what happens when you don’t have a significant other
and you live with your sister. She takes the brunt of everything. God bless
her. About the significant other thing, well…
I can’t fix all of my issues in one night.
This is all a culmination of not getting a call about a job
I think I wanted, I was told I was going to be called either way. Today
(yesterday, as it is 12:30) I got no calls – so frustrating! Watching too much
West Wing on Netflix. Damn you Netflix. They are all so passionate and bright and amazing. They talk with convection and they left jobs they hated to work on
something they were passionate about. I want to be the White House Press Correspondent!!
Okay, okay too much The West Wing.
Should I quit??
Help.
This all is happening at the same time that I am apart of the START movement, based around John Acuff's book. I have a hard time even defining my dreams anymore. I think I want to be a blogger, but I am not sure.
I have told both of my life coaches. Yes two. There is this swirling, around me - in my head, heart, externally. I have a feeling that I am so close for things coming together for me. Right now, they are all a tornado. Swirling, swirling.
I guess eventually they will bang into each other, they have to right?? This was helpful.
Good Night
